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My joy is worth healing for.

Last week, I experienced one of the best moments of my life. Alone. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. That experience taught me that I, alone, have the power to create a life that keeps me on a Natural High. In fact, I have the responsibility to create that life. And to do the work it requires to maintain it.

If the insecure and shy girl of my youth knew that I would one day stand confidently on a stage, shining bright, and seeking judgement…she would be amazed. And proud of the transformation she never believed could take place.

It took a great deal of (self) reflection, (self) acceptance, (self) forgiveness and (self) appreciation to get here. However, once I realized that I am enough and complete by myself. I learned how to create joy for myself. I began to invest in experiences that put me in position to feel the Natural Highs that I deserve. Experiences that others didn’t give to me – and therefore, others could never take away from me. That power…and responsibility…belongs solely to me.

For a long time I allowed the fear of being alone to make me addicted to superficial highs. Or exhilarating moments that I could only experience from being in connection to someone else.

“Might I suggest you don’t mess with my Sis”
Photo courtesy of Ms. Childs

Have you ever seen a unicorn in real life? How about one dripped in melanin? What about a small tribe of melanin drenched unicorns that dominate and enhance their environment in the most magical ways possible – individually and collectively? You probably haven’t. But I have. And I have the privilege of calling these phenoms, these unicorns, my sisters.

Together, we’ve created a tribe of empowerment, accountability, and acceptance that is rare in a society most known for envy and competition. We even have the audacity to place crowns around our signature horns to further illuminate our uniqueness, grace and power. Indeed, we intentionally celebrate and enhance the very feature that others may find intimidating or even unbecoming.

And while we can readily acknowledge that we are not for everybody. We know that for those that choose not to accept us…it is their loss, not ours.  That is precisely why we refuse to allow each other to hide from the spotlight that both precedes our presence and emanates from our very being. To be clear, you can’t help but to know that we’re coming, and you’ll find it impossible to ignore us when we arrive. After all, we are an unapologetic force of fierceness. You cannot contain us anymore than you can change us. So don’t try.

Shine bright like a diamond
Photo courtesy of Mrs. 

Thriving in Progress3 Ways that I Thrive Through Stress by Ms. Scott

There is an old adage that states, ‘nothing worth having comes easy.’ And my favorite lyrical genius, Tupac Amaru Shakur, once made it perfectly clear that he “don’t want it if it’s that easy”. Now, we all know what Tupac meant in his classic track, “I get around”. But let’s imagine, for a moment, that both of those statements referred to reaching some level of success.  By doing so, we could reframe the expressions to acknowledge that it will require a ton of effort to reach most of our goals. And also, that we should possess pride in our efforts to achieve greatness. The issues arise as those efforts transition from not easy to very challenging and eventually produce unwanted stress.  

Now to me, stress and anxiety are kinfolk. And I’m talking baby sister kin. Not that seventh cousin on my great great great granddaddy side of the family, kind of kin. I make that comparison to highlight that if I do not handle stress properly, it will quickly get the best of me because I am not my best self, when I’m anxious.  It is worth noting that stress is actually defined as ‘a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances.’ While we don’t normally associate the aforementioned success with an adverse situation, we can all agree that we oftentimes find ourselves in demanding circumstances on our way to…and after we arrive at…success.